Making the ultimate man cave

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Man Cave — The male retreat, the mans sanctuary, the ball pit, the anti-woman zone or possibly the worst name I have heard — the rape van with no wheels.

But whatever you decide to call it, this is, as a man, a place of refuge for you, the only place in the house that the woman in your life cannot pester you. For me, this is my garage. The floor is covered in wooden panels and at present, the walls are brick. However, transformation is slowly taking place.

I have been creating a photo-file of the key items required in my man cave to make it not only a lads-only zone, but also a place of comfort and something a bit different.

I have gone for the country mansion theme with the items I have chosen — let me know what you think.

The Book Shelf

Now lets be serious, I know as much as you do that we wont be reading the Jeremy Clarkson Biography or picking out the word of the day from any of the grandparent scented books… but, god dam does a book shelf look good. Not only is it one wall that you will never need to paint, but its a great hiding place for your party spirits.

The Animal rug

Im not into killing animals by any measure, but a faux fur rug will give you something to curl your toes up in. Make sure you prepare a gnarly story about how you came to have this stunted beast on the floor of your man hideout.

The cigar box

Im not a smoker, but nothing says I chill with the Monopoly guy like an un-splintered and varnished box of fat cigars.

The stags head

The stags head is a status symbol, again, if you can get a fake stags head then go down that route, but make sure you give him a name and a comedy pair of RayBenis from the lucky lucky man in tenerife — that horny bastard doesnt need to see everything that goes down in the man tavern.

The rifles

Shit I couldnt shoot the roof of a bus if I was sitting on it, and this is exactly why your rifle should take its place on your wall. Not only will it make you look badass, but the stories to go with it could make Liam Neeson look like Adam Sandler in Little Nicky.

The swords

If you have seen the sword-wielding ninja-bitch on The Walking Dead then you will know what this will do for your street cred, or at least to a rotting walker in the event of a Zombie apocolypse.

The bust

We all love real titty, but this is our man cave, no baby poppers in here. Set yourself up with a marble or concrete bust to add a touch of class to your man cave.

The chesterfield

If youre after somewhere comfy to sit with your crew, a nice perching point for the lads — then god dam avoid the chesterfield sofa. Sitting on this piece of art is like riding a horse with a gear stick for a saddle. 

The gramophone

Youre gonna need some tunes, and the latest sound system is going to stick out like a nun at a bukkake party, so wrap on the new technology and hit up this gem of an item.

The globe whisky holder

You might not be a Whisky drinker, but if you get to pour a stiff one into a stubby crystal tumbler then I guarantee you will be soon.

I will be adding more items to my Man Cave and will update you as to the progress I have made in the future as it materialises. 

I hope you like my Man Cave ideas, let me know if you have any items which are a must-have in any Man Cave.

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